Power to the Pleasers

What People Pleasing has Taught Me

Today, I’m sharing some of the biggest lessons I’ve learned throughout my years as a people pleaser and how it has changed my view on relationships and life. 
 
Join me in this episode as I share some of my wisdom from my experience as a people pleaser and perfectionist including how I was able to cut back on apologizing so much and why you shouldn’t feel bad about setting boundaries in friendships. 
 
Also Discussed in this Episode: 
 
What people pleasing has taught me 1:50
Why you should have high standards for people in your life 6:58
Setting boundaries and guilt in friendship 9:18
Links:
How to Say NO NicelyThe 3 Step Formula that helps you get your “no” out!
https://powertothepleasers.thrivecart.com/how-to-say-no-nicely/
 
http://vickibsmith.com/coaching/
 
Schedule an interest call to see if we are a good fit!
https://calendly.com/vicki-46/15min
Email community link!https://view.flodesk.com/pages/630cd23ac861f3e7c8c8177b
 
Connect with Vicki by following on Instagram: 
https://www.instagram.com/power.to.the.pleasers/
 

Why You’re no Fun and How to Change that

Is it hard for you to really let loose and have fun?
 
Today, I’m diving into why it’s so hard for people pleasers and perfectionists to let go and have fun. I’m also sharing how you can stop feeling on guard constantly and start focusing on having a good time. 
 
Join me in this episode as I offer some advice for getting over your fear of vulnerability so you can have fun and how you can find safe spots for letting loose. 
 
Also Discussed in this Episode: 
 
Why it’s so hard for people pleasers and perfectionists to have fun 5:00
Fun when it’s paired with the feeling of being on guard 10:03
The importance of safety and trust 11:27
Why it’s so important to have play and unstructured fun 21:12
Links:
 
How to Say NO NicelyThe 3 Step Formula that helps you get your “no” out!
https://powertothepleasers.thrivecart.com/how-to-say-no-nicely/
 
 
http://vickibsmith.com/coaching/
 
Schedule an interest call to see if we are a good fit!
https://calendly.com/vicki-46/15min
Email community link!https://view.flodesk.com/pages/630cd23ac861f3e7c8c8177b
 
Connect with Vicki by following on Instagram: 
https://www.instagram.com/power.to.the.pleasers/
 

Everybody has Boundary Issues with Jeanene Wolfe, LCSW

Have you ever wondered what happens inside of the mind of a therapist?
 
Today, I have my friend and fellow therapist, Jeanene Wolfe, joining me to talk about some of the struggles therapists go through and why setting boundaries is so important.  
 
Jeanene Wolf is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker. She also runs CollabOasis, a community for therapists and is the host of the podcast Colleague Down the Hall.  
 
Join us in this episode as we offer some helpful tips on how therapists can set and protect their boundaries. We also discuss why it’s so important for therapists to have a helpful community behind them and how it can help them to become better, more confident clinicians. 
 
Also Discussed in this Episode: 
 
Making sure therapists have a high standard of care 7:27
Some of what therapists go through 16:13
Processing your energy around boundaries 21:10
Why having a peer consultation group can help therapists 34:42
 
Connect with Jeanene Wolfe: 
 
https://jeanenewolfelcsw.com/
 
https://collaboasis.com/
Links:
http://vickibsmith.com/coaching/
 
Schedule an interest call to see if we are a good fit!
https://calendly.com/vicki-46/15min
Email community link!https://view.flodesk.com/pages/630cd23ac861f3e7c8c8177b
 
Connect with Vicki by following on Instagram: 
https://www.instagram.com/power.to.the.pleasers/
 

The Difference Between Anxiety and Intuition

What’s the difference between anxiety and intuition? 
 
Today, I’m sharing more about the difference between the two and how you can use a mindfulness practice to create more peace and relaxation in your mind. 
 
Join me to gain insight into how you can practice more mindfulness in your daily life and how you can quiet your anxiety to hear your intuition.  
 
Also Discussed in this Episode: 
 
How mindfulness relates to anxiety and intuition 2:33
Finding relaxation in your mind 5:11
Practicing mindfulness in your daily life and how it can help your anxiety 13:10
Links:
 
No More Back and Forth
Decision Making Made Easy!
https://powertothepleasers.thrivecart.com/no-more-back-and-forth/
http://vickibsmith.com/coaching/
 
Schedule an interest call to see if we are a good fit!
https://calendly.com/vicki-46/15min
Email community link!https://view.flodesk.com/pages/630cd23ac861f3e7c8c8177b
 
Connect with Vicki by following on Instagram: 
https://www.instagram.com/power.to.the.pleasers/
 

Walking Myself through Change

Everyone wants to change something about themselves, but what happens when you actually have to act on it? 
 
Today, I’m sharing a technique with you that will help you break past your fear of change so you can feel less anxiety, more freedom and start doing the things that make you happy.
 
Join me in this episode to learn how you can start caring for yourself first, learn how to say no and stop living small.  
 
Also Discussed in this Episode: 
 
What stops us from doing the things we want to? 6:44
How to show up for yourself? 13:29
Getting over your fear of saying no 22:53
Links:
How to Say NO NicelyThe 3 Step Formula that helps you get your “no” out!
https://powertothepleasers.thrivecart.com/how-to-say-no-nicely/
http://vickibsmith.com/coaching/
 
Schedule an interest call to see if we are a good fit!
https://calendly.com/vicki-46/15min
Email community link!https://view.flodesk.com/pages/630cd23ac861f3e7c8c8177b
 
Connect with Vicki by following on Instagram: 
https://www.instagram.com/power.to.the.pleasers/

Easing your Relationship Anxiety with Kariah Phillips

Do you struggle with your relationships as a people pleaser? Maybe you’re constantly seeking reassurance from your partner. 
 
Today, Kariah Phillips joins me to talk about how you can ease your relationships in your relationships. Kariah Phillips is a Clinical Social Worker in the South Sound Region of Washington State.  She is a graduate of the School of Social Work at Columbia University and has worked as a therapist since 2007. Kariah’s work focuses on improving relationships by helping individuals manage anxiety.  She currently teaches virtual classes about relationship skills and has monthly relationship classes to teach the skills that are taught in therapy. 
 
Join me and Kariah in this episode to learn how to manage your relationship anxiety and create healthy boundaries.   
 
Also Discussed in this Episode: 
 
How seeking reassurance creates the opposite of building self worth 8:04
Using your voice to make sure the relationship stays intact 15:01
The importance of boundaries in relationships 31:58
Links:
 
Kariah Phillips IG  - @thegoodlifeinstitute
Work with Kariah:www.forlivingthegoodlife.com
 
No More Back and Forth
Decision Making Made Easy!
https://powertothepleasers.thrivecart.com/no-more-back-and-forth/
http://vickibsmith.com/coaching/
 
Schedule an interest call to see if we are a good fit!
https://calendly.com/vicki-46/15min
Email community link!https://view.flodesk.com/pages/630cd23ac861f3e7c8c8177b
 
Connect with Vicki by following on Instagram: 
https://www.instagram.com/power.to.the.pleasers/
 
 
 

Kindness is a Pleasers Kryptonite

Can you be kinder to yourself? 
 
This week on the podcast I’m talking about the third kryptonite for people pleasers and perfectionists: Kindness, both receiving it from others and showing kindness to yourself. I’m also sharing a mindfulness meditation exercise that’s helped me silence my inner critic and show more kindness to myself. 
 
Listen to this episode to learn more about why self-compassion can be hard for you if you’re a people pleaser and how you can move past your inner critic. 
 
Also Discussed in this Episode: 
 
Why self-compassion is so hard for us people pleasers 4:55
Learning your inner critic 12:24
Easing the pain of being hurt 14:41
Links:
http://vickibsmith.com/coaching/
 
Schedule an interest call to see if we are a good fit!
https://calendly.com/vicki-46/15min
Email community link!https://view.flodesk.com/pages/630cd23ac861f3e7c8c8177b
 
Connect with Vicki by following on Instagram: 
https://www.instagram.com/power.to.the.pleasers/
 
 

Disappointment is a Pleasers Kryptonite

This week, we’re talking about another kryptonite for people pleasers and perfectionists: disappointment. 
 
In this episode, I’m talking about disappointment and the sub feelings that contribute to it which may help you understand why it makes you so uncomfortable. I’m also going over the specific feelings that arise when you're in the midst of disappointment so you can identify it and not be scared of feeling it. 
 
Join me today to learn more about your feelings around disappointment and some strategies that will help you move through it.  
 
Also Discussed in this Episode: 
 
Perfectionism and how it ties in with disappointment 2:50
Not taking responsibility for other people’s feelings 6:47
Identifying your feelings around disappointment 16:12 
Links:
http://vickibsmith.com/coaching/
 
Schedule an interest call to see if we are a good fit!
https://calendly.com/vicki-46/15min
Email community link!https://view.flodesk.com/pages/630cd23ac861f3e7c8c8177b
 

Anger is a Pleasers Kryptonite

If you’re a people pleaser, chances are anger isn’t your favorite emotion. 
 
Today on the podcast, I’m diving deeper into the emotion of anger and breaking down some of the reasons why you might have such an aversion to anger.
 
Join me in this episode to learn more about your reaction to anger and how you can befriend your inner anger. 
 
Also Discussed in this Episode: 
 
Why do people pleasers have a hard time with anger? 3:00
How you can make sense of your expression of anger  5:15
Why guilt is such a big trip up for people pleasers 15:40
Links:
http://vickibsmith.com/coaching/
 
Schedule an interest call to see if we are a good fit!
https://calendly.com/vicki-46/15min
Email community link!https://view.flodesk.com/pages/630cd23ac861f3e7c8c8177b
 
Connect with Vicki by following on Instagram: 
https://www.instagram.com/power.to.the.pleasers/
 

Everything to Everyone

Today, I'm talking about relationships again and focusing on how you can find your unique way of caring for those close to you as a people pleaser, instead of being everything to everyone. 
 
Join me in this episode to learn how you can move past your fear of conflict and find your special way of showing others you care so relationships can stop feeling like work.
 
Also Discussed in this Episode: 
 
Fear of conflict 4:00
Finding your unique way of caring 5:49
Just because you want to help doesn't mean you can 12:26
Links:
http://vickibsmith.com/coaching/
 
Schedule an interest call to see if we are a good fit!
https://calendly.com/vicki-46/15min
Email community link!https://view.flodesk.com/pages/630cd23ac861f3e7c8c8177b
 
Connect with Vicki by following on Instagram: 
https://www.instagram.com/power.to.the.pleasers/