Power to the Pleasers

Answering Your Questions

In today's episode, I’m doing something a bit different than usual and answering some questions about people pleasing that were submitted by listeners. I’m also offering some solutions to your biggest issues and giving you some tips on how to deal with your people pleasing traits.  
 
Also Discussed in this Episode: 
 
Four-step process for setting boundaries 3:40
Why decisions are so hard for people pleasers 6:06
Why people pleasers apologize for small things 8:42
The difference between people pleasing and being supportive 15:37
Why some people think people pleasers are manipulative 18:35
Links:
 
http://vickibsmith.com/coaching/
 
Nervous System Regulation Exercise 

Self-Compassion is a Buzzkill

Are you a people pleaser who has noticed that it’s hard to take a compliment or to celebrate your wins? 
 
Perfectionists often struggle when it comes to acknowledging and taking joy in their accomplishments. 
 
In today's episode, I want to talk about having self compassion for yourself and why it can be so hard for perfectionists to celebrate themselves. I’m also sharing some mindfulness exercises to help you with self compassion. 
Also Discussed in this Episode: 
 
Why you may be struggling when giving yourself self compassion 2:29
Self compassion is the antidote to perfectionism 9:49
The questions you can ask yourself when you are struggling with self compassion 18:15
Mindfulness exercises to help give yourself self compassion 21:25
Links:
 
http://vickibsmith.com/coaching/
 
How to be Kind to Yourself

Per-f*ck-tionism

Today, I’m talking about a topic that can be tough for people pleasers: perfectionism and that inner critical voice that can sometimes plague you. Conquering your inner critic is something that I often talk about with my clients. 
 
Join me today in this episode as I share some actionable tips on how you can beat your inner critic and move past your perfectionism with some mindfulness techniques. 
Also Discussed in this Episode: 
 
How your inner critic is linked to your perfectionism 2:06
Getting closer to your inner critic 4:30
Mindfulness and what it is about 7:45
Some action steps on getting over your inner critic 12:23
Mindful self-compassion 19:31
 
Links:
http://subscribepage.io/2qOM5J
Asked and Answered Inner Critic Interview through IFS
 
Connect with me: 
Join the email community: https://subscribepage.io/L8inBl
Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100075839538976
Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/power.to.the.pleasers/
Website -  https://powertothepleasers.com
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCNatSGDHY9lOmCoCVxQQE2Q
 
Like what you hear and want to take the next step?  Set up a time to talk!
https://tr.ee/vJHETPoI_p

I Blame Hallmark

The holidays can be the most wonderful time of the year but they can also be a difficult time for people pleasers and perfectionists. 
 
Today, I’m talking about how you can navigate the holiday season as a people pleaser and create effective boundaries so that you can protect your peace. 
 
Join me in this episode as I give some actionable tips so that you can enjoy your holiday season and family time without feeling overwhelmed. 
Also Discussed in this Episode: 
 
Why the holidays can be tough for people pleasers 2:04
Setting expectations for family visits 6:35
Planning for family dynamics 8:36
Being around people who trigger your perfectionism 10:46
Giving yourself permission to not engage 14:57
Links:
 
http://vickibsmith.com/coaching/
 
Nervous System Regulation Exercise

Is “I Don’t Want to” an Excuse?

As a people pleaser, you may be familiar with committing yourself to a situation or an event that you don’t necessarily want to go to. 
 
In today's episode, I’m sharing whether or not the phrase “I don’t want to” is a valid excuse when you’re faced with something you may not be enthusiastic about. 
 
Join me as I give some actionable mindfulness tips so you can break down your people pleasing and perfectionistic patterns and do things on your terms instead of trying to please others. 
Also Discussed in this Episode: 
 
Where your idea of having to do things you don’t want to came from 2:32
Breaking down your perfectionistic patterns 4:49
What is the U-turn? 6:42
Why it can be hard to go with your truth as a people pleaser 11:23
Living out what’s possible not just speaking about it 17:27
Links:
 
http://vickibsmith.com/coaching/
Unleash Your Authentic Self Guide
 
Connect with Vicki by following on Instagram: 
https://www.instagram.com/power.to.the.pleasers/

Why it’s Hard to Ask for Help

If you’re a people pleaser who has a hard time asking for help, today’s episode is for you. 
 
Today, I’m sharing why it can be hard for people pleasers to ask for help when they need it and how this relates to our view of personal relationships. I’m also offering some actionable tips you can take to have healthier relationships and identify your potential stumbling blocks when asking for help. 
Also Discussed in this Episode: 
 
Why it’s hard to ask for help as a people pleaser 2:05
Why people pleasers have a skewed vision of relationships 9:08
Feeling needed and what that means to you 11:26
Identifying your stumbling blocks when asking for help 12:44
Links:
 
http://vickibsmith.com/coaching/
Unleash Your Authentic Self Guide
 
Connect with Vicki by following on Instagram: 
https://www.instagram.com/power.to.the.pleasers/
 

Making Decisions

Decision making can be tough for people pleasers and directly relates to our need to be perfect. As people pleasers, we want to make everyone happy so being faced with a final decision can be daunting. 
 
If you’ve ever found yourself in a similar situation, In today’s episode I’m giving you some easy, actionable tips so you can let go of your perfectionism and make decisions easier.  Join me to learn how you can really listen to your inner self and make easy decisions that please you. 
Also Discussed in this Episode: 
 
Why you need to break down your people pleasing and perfectionism patterns 1:15 
Why perfectionism makes decision making hard 2:00
The word “final” and why it helps with decision making 4:03
Listening to your inner barometer when it comes to decisions 18:11
How to stop living on autopilot 22:06
 
Links:
 
http://vickibsmith.com/coaching/
Unleash Your Authentic Self Guide
 
Connect with Vicki by following on Instagram: 
https://www.instagram.com/power.to.the.pleasers/
 
 
 

Developing Intolerance

Are you a people pleaser who’s been tolerating rudeness or bad behavior because you’re trying to avoid conflict?
 
Intolerance is one of the most prized skills I have learned during my people pleasing recovery and today, I’m talking about how you can not only stop tolerating bad behavior but also protect your intolerance of it. 
 
Join me on today’s episode, to learn some actionable steps you can take to create healthy boundaries and manage the anger you may be feeling in a healthy way. 
 
Also Discussed in this Episode: 
 
My experience of tolerating bad behavior 3:42
The fears that people pleasers have that cause us to tolerate bad behavior 7:42
Experiencing anger as a people pleaser 9:42
Why feeling anger is a good thing 15:26
Why people pleasers are so scared of feeling anger 18:37
The steps to giving space to your anger 19:14
Links:
http://subscribepage.io/pMJWsW
Unleash Your Authentic Self Guide 
 
Connect with Vicki:Join the email community: https://subscribepage.io/L8inBl
Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100075839538976
Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/power.to.the.pleasers/
Website -  https://powertothepleasers.com
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCNatSGDHY9lOmCoCVxQQE2Q
 
Like what you hear and want to take the next step?  Set up a time to talk!
https://tr.ee/vJHETPoI_p

Unnecessary Apologies as a People Pleaser

If you’re a people pleaser, the phrase “I’m sorry” most likely finds its way into your everyday interactions frequently and you may not even notice it. 
 
Today, I’m going over the seven most common unnecessary apologies you’ll find yourself saying if you’re a people pleaser, the situations you might find yourself in while saying them and why you should create healthy boundaries so you can stop apologizing when you don’t need to.  
 
Also Discussed in this Episode: 
 
Keeping track of your apologies 1:16
Avoiding conflict and staying in the conversation when there’s tension 10:29 
Why we apologize for things that we don’t need to apologize for 12:37
 
Links: 
http://subscribepage.io/pMJWsW
Unleash Your Authentic Self Guide 
 
Connect with Vicki:Join the email community: https://subscribepage.io/L8inBl
Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100075839538976
Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/power.to.the.pleasers/
Website -  https://powertothepleasers.com
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCNatSGDHY9lOmCoCVxQQE2Q
 
Like what you hear and want to take the next step?  Set up a time to talk!
https://tr.ee/vJHETPoI_p