Power to the Pleasers

A Sneaky Kind of Self-Care

If you’re a perfectionist and a people pleaser you likely have high standards for yourself, which cause you to push yourself too hard and get exhausted.  
 
Today, I’m focusing on how high standards are directly tied to perfectionism. I’m also sharing some tips on how you can give yourself more grace and kindness as a people pleaser. 
 
Listen to this episode to learn how you can show yourself forgiveness and set the intention to be kind to yourself.
 
Also Discussed in this Episode: 
 
Why we lean toward achievement and productivity 4:45
How comparison is a trap for perfectionists 15:06
Your job as a perfectionist 21:12
How to deal with the perfectionist in you 23:53
Unloading the weight of what’s stressing you out 27:40
Links:
http://vickibsmith.com/coaching/
 
Schedule an interest call to see if we are a good fit!
https://calendly.com/vicki-46/15min
Email community link!https://view.flodesk.com/pages/630cd23ac861f3e7c8c8177b
 
Connect with Vicki by following on Instagram: 
https://www.instagram.com/power.to.the.pleasers/
 

The Role in Relationships

This week, I’m focusing on relationships again and talking about the roles we play in relationships as people pleasers. 
 
If you’re a people pleaser, you probably aim to be the supportive, easy-going friend that only offers positive experiences. Sometimes, though, we can overdo the supportive part.
 
Join me in this episode to hear more about the different roles people pleasers can have in friendships and how you can have a healthy friendship without overdoing the supportive part. 
 
Also Discussed in this Episode: 
 
The 3 roles you can play in your relationships 3:42
What enabling is and why it’s a problem 12:37
Why are people pleasers controlling? 18:43
Stability and how it relates to these roles 20:41
Links:
http://vickibsmith.com/coaching/
 
Schedule an interest call to see if we are a good fit!
https://calendly.com/vicki-46/15min
Email community link!https://view.flodesk.com/pages/630cd23ac861f3e7c8c8177b
 
Connect with Vicki by following on Instagram: 
https://www.instagram.com/power.to.the.pleasers/
 

Who are your Friends and Why are they your Friends?

Have you ever stopped and looked at who’s in your friend group? Maybe you’ve wondered how some of the friends you have got there in the first place.  
 
People are becoming more deliberate with who they spend their time and energy on so today, I’m talking about the 3 main elements of friendship and how it can help us see why some of our friends have stuck around for years and why others have never clicked. 
 
Join me in this episode to learn how you can really deep dive into your friendships and learn more about the friends you surround yourself with. 
 
Also Discussed in this Episode: 
 
How do you make and keep your friends? 3:26
Making friends as an adult 6:10
The 3 friendship factors 9:12
Identifying what’s important to you in friendship 18:31
Friendships are a choice 24:56
Links:
The Friendship Design Kit
http://vickibsmith.com/coaching/
 
Schedule an interest call to see if we are a good fit!
https://calendly.com/vicki-46/15min
Email community link!https://view.flodesk.com/pages/630cd23ac861f3e7c8c8177b
 
Connect with Vicki by following on Instagram: 
https://www.instagram.com/power.to.the.pleasers/

How to Lighten your Load

Do you know that feeling that comes from when you spring clean or clear a space? You might feel lighter or like you can breathe easier. 
 
In today’s episode, I’m walking you through an exercise that will help you clear your mind.  
 
Join me to learn how you can identify your values, let go of perfectionism and embrace your true self. 
 
Also Discussed in this Episode: 
 
Getting to know yourself 1:28
30 things about yourself 5:24
Getting down to the basics of what’s important to you 10:57
Finding your priorities and values 13:35
How to lighten your load 17:39
Links:
http://vickibsmith.com/coaching/
 
Schedule an interest call to see if we are a good fit!
https://calendly.com/vicki-46/15min
Email community link!https://view.flodesk.com/pages/630cd23ac861f3e7c8c8177b
 
Connect with Vicki by following on Instagram: 
https://www.instagram.com/power.to.the.pleasers/

How Relationships Work

Have you ever wondered why you are the way you are? Or how your early relationships may have influenced you to become a perfectionist and a pleaser? 
 
In this week’s episode, I’m sharing some foundational elements of relationship building that may shine a light on why you’re a perfectionist today.  I’m also sharing the different types of attachment personalities.  
 
Join me in this episode to learn more about attachment and the link between how you were raised and your perfectionist patterns. 
 
Also Discussed in this Episode: 
 
Where do we learn the rules of being in a relationship? 5:53
How attachment in a biological drive not just a desire 12:38
What is secure attachment? 14:58
Aviodant attachment 20:29
How we can make people feel safe 23:07
Links:
http://vickibsmith.com/
Unleash Your Authentic Self Guide
http://vickibsmith.com/coaching/
 
Schedule an interest call to see if we are a good fit!
https://calendly.com/vicki-46/15min
Email community link!https://view.flodesk.com/pages/630cd23ac861f3e7c8c8177b
 
Connect with Vicki by following on Instagram: 
https://www.instagram.com/power.to.the.pleasers/
 

Fitting in vs. Belonging

Have you ever felt like you really belonged? 
 
In this week’s episode, I’m diving into the difference between belonging and fitting in and exploring why as a people pleaser or perfectionist you may feel like you are fitting in but what you really want is to belong. 
 
Join me to hear how you can find your own group of people that truly accept you and how you can stop trying to prove your worth and earn your place. 
 
Also Discussed in this Episode: 
 
The difference between fitting in and belonging 1:26
What fitting in feels like 4:08
Finding out who you are 6:47
What belonging means to me 11:48
Showing up without promises 21:19
Links:
http://vickibsmith.com/coaching/
 
Schedule an interest call to see if we are a good fit!
https://calendly.com/vicki-46/15min
Email community link!https://view.flodesk.com/pages/630cd23ac861f3e7c8c8177b
 
Connect with Vicki by following on Instagram: 
https://www.instagram.com/power.to.the.pleasers/
 

The Feeling of Self Trust

People pleasers and perfectionists don’t trust themselves. 
 
Today, I’m sharing some of what causes your self-trust issues and why trying to earn approval and acceptance from others isn’t really getting you what you want in the long run. 
 
Join me in this episode as I share my list of what self-trust looks like so you can start listening to yourself and start feeling safe and steady inside. 
 
Also Discussed in this Episode: 
 
When we feel safe around someone, we trust them 4:30
Why being the good girl isn’t getting you what you want 6:21
Emotional Intelligence 8:38
My list of what self trust looks like 15:15
Slowing down and noticing what’s happening inside 22:09
Links:
http://vickibsmith.com/coaching/
 
Schedule an interest call to see if we are a good fit!
https://calendly.com/vicki-46/15min
Email community link!https://view.flodesk.com/pages/630cd23ac861f3e7c8c8177b
 
Connect with Vicki by following on Instagram: 
https://www.instagram.com/power.to.the.pleasers/
 

Doubt is Wearing you Out

Are you sick of nagging thoughts of not being good enough or worst case scenarios running through your mind?
 
In today's episode, I’m sharing with you some practical tips and actions you can use to get past those negative thoughts and beliefs you have plaguing your mind so you can use your mind for good. 
 
Also Discussed in this Episode: 
 
Your thoughts and beliefs and how you manage them 12:22
Why you should question the stories you tell yourself 14:46
What are you telling yourself that helps you unravel? 19:52
How to use your mind for good 25:44
Links:
http://vickibsmith.com/
Unleash Your Authentic Self Guide
 
Connect with Vicki by following on Instagram: 
https://www.instagram.com/power.to.the.pleasers/

I Think you’re Lying

Are you a people pleaser who hates the question, “What do you want?” Maybe your default answer to that question is always “I don’t know.” 
 
In today's episode, I’m sharing with you how you can become more decisive, share what you want in life and know exactly what you don’t want.  
 
Join me in this episode to hear how you can finally stop deferring to other people's answers and instead speak up when it comes to what you want. 
 
Also Discussed in this Episode: 
 
You’re lying when you say you don’t know what you want 6:07
Your inner template 11:23
Deferring to other people's answers as a people pleaser 16:03
The know, like and trust factor with yourself 23:08
Asking yourself the right questions so you can know your answers 25:16
Links:
http://vickibsmith.com/
Unleash Your Authentic Self Guide
 
Connect with Vicki by following on Instagram: 
https://www.instagram.com/power.to.the.pleasers/
 

Answering Your Questions

In today's episode, I’m doing something a bit different than usual and answering some questions about people pleasing that were submitted by listeners. I’m also offering some solutions to your biggest issues and giving you some tips on how to deal with your people pleasing traits.  
 
Also Discussed in this Episode: 
 
Four-step process for setting boundaries 3:40
Why decisions are so hard for people pleasers 6:06
Why people pleasers apologize for small things 8:42
The difference between people pleasing and being supportive 15:37
Why some people think people pleasers are manipulative 18:35
Links:
 
http://vickibsmith.com/coaching/
 
Nervous System Regulation Exercise