Power to the Pleasers

A Friendship Wake-Up Call: How people pleasing nearly cost me a good friend.

Friendship is strange isn’t it? You make this unspoken agreement with another person to do what together? You aren’t dating. You aren’t co-workers. You aren’t “committed” like a life partner. What exactly are we agreeing to when we become friends? And how do you know if you are getting out of the lines of the agreement?Someone tells you. And if you are lucky, they are respectful and responsible about sharing their experience of your waning commitment. Today I share with you a recent exchange between myself and a friend that modeled for me the RIGHT way to do friendship. Welcome to a vulnerable share about how I was a bad friend and got called out on it.What makes this episode worth listening to:
Simple questions to help you do a Relationship Audit.
3 respectful ways to share hurt feelings with a friend
How doing consistent inner work busts up long standing shame.
 
All the ways we can hang out and get to know each other:
Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100075839538976
Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/power.to.the.pleasers/
Website -  https://powertothepleasers.com
YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@powertothepleasers2020/videos
 
Taking it to the next level! Let's talk about working together!
Schedule a time to talk.
https://calendly.com/vicki-46/20min
 

You're too nice for your own good - How "friendliness" becomes a burden

One of my clients inspired this episode after a few big ah-ha moments in a session.
They finally let their irritation and fatigue guide them to a balanced way of being naturally kind and generous.
And now you get the benefit of their hard work!
What makes this episode worth listening to:
Discover how you’re confusing people by “just being nice.”
Get honest about who you are into and who doesn’t make the cut.
How to use what you value as a guide to decide how you spend your time and energy.
 
All the ways we can hang out and get to know each other:
Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100075839538976
Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/power.to.the.pleasers/
Website -  https://powertothepleasers.com
YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@powertothepleasers2020/videos
 
Want to do more than listen?
Well, hit me up and let's talk about  working together! 
Schedule a time with the link below:
https://calendly.com/vicki-46/20min

How to bust through your boundary setting blocks - (Hint: get good at feeling uncomfortable)

Today I am talking about the main thing that keeps people pleasers and perfectionists from setting boundaries – fear! I am going to walk you through a mindfulness practice to help you feel more relaxed as you can build the courage to confidently set boundaries and say “no” when you need to.
Join me in this episode to learn how you can stop letting fear get in the way of not only boundary setting, but pretty much anything that stops you in your tracks. 
 
In this episode:
Debunking a common myth about boundaries
How awareness puts you in a position of power
Mindfulness exercise that desensitizes you to discomfort
Freebie:From Shaky to Confident – Free guide to calming the F down!
https://subscribepage.io/KNF3Nq
 
Links:
Like what you hear? Let’s talk for a few to see how I can help!
https://calendly.com/vicki-46/20min
Join the email community! subscribepage.io/L8inBl
 
Connect with Vicki:Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100075839538976
Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/power.to.the.pleasers/
Website -  https://powertothepleasers.comYouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCNatSGDHY9lOmCoCVxQQE2Q

What social media completely misses about boundary setting

One of my pet peeves started this episode topic off – how social media posts about “boundary setting” are full of shit. Thankfully I have resolved my irritation, and I am sharing how you can as well.
I’d like to invite you to bring your OUTSIDE voice back into the rotation. Well, actually it’s the INSIDE voice that I am calling OUT.
This is all the things you practice saying in the shower or in the car and you never can imagine saying them IRL out loud.
I’ve got some good ideas about how you can make the IRL thing actually happen. What makes this episode worth listening to:
I ask you some super thought-provoking questions right at the beginning
Why you’ve said this more than you’d like to admit - “I’d never say that to their face!”
How to start moving the big boulder of FEAR that keeps you silent and resentful.
All the ways we can hang out and get to know each other:
Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100075839538976
Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/power.to.the.pleasers/
Website -  https://powertothepleasers.com
YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@powertothepleasers2020/videos
 
Another way we can hang out - - - we can work together! Like in real life!
Schedule a time to talk and see if what I offer matches what you want to feel better about!
https://calendly.com/vicki-46/20min
 
 

Stop making decisions from insecurity! Try these 2 game changing skills to get you back on track!

Decisions scramble people pleasers. We want to make sure everyone is happy with what we choose, but that will never happen. Hard to hear, but it’s the truth.
Harder to hear is the reality that we, as pleasers, do not often consider OURSELVES when it comes to making decisions. We get lost in what other people want or what others are doing. No rocking the boat right? In this episode I share how I got totally lost and made a stupid decision that I still live with today. Not an earth shattering one, but one that got my attention and basically that is the main point of this episode – attention and awareness. Enjoy listening to me completely forget my mindfulness practice and get caught up in belonging with the group.
 
Highlights and take aways from this episode:
Link to mini course on decision making using Internal Family Systems.
https://powertothepleasers.thrivecart.com/no-more-back-and-forth/
A simple 4 word mantra to guide you in decision making.
The super power of getting comfortable with discomfort.
 
Links:
Like what you hear and want to take the next step?  Set up a time to talk!
https://tr.ee/vJHETPoI_p
 
No More Back and Forth – A mini course on Decision Making using Internal Family Systems
https://powertothepleasers.thrivecart.com/no-more-back-and-forth/
 
Connect with Vicki:Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100075839538976
Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/power.to.the.pleasers/
Website -  https://powertothepleasers.com
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCNatSGDHY9lOmCoCVxQQE2Q

Here's how to deal with your FEAR of CONFLICT

Fear of conflict is on every pleaser and perfectionist’s list of “I-wish-this-wasn’t-such-a-big-deal-for-me”. It’s time to break this mountain of fear down! Because it is O L D!I’ll share a few reasons this fear has taken over, where it came from and then give you skills to move through fear (really any kind of fear) so you can feel more solid, more capable and more adult like when you need to have a conversation.
 
Links:
Like what you hear and want to take the next step?  Set up a time to talk!
https://tr.ee/vJHETPoI_p
 
Connect with Vicki:Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100075839538976
Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/power.to.the.pleasers/
Website -  https://powertothepleasers.com
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCNatSGDHY9lOmCoCVxQQE2Q
 

POWER POD - Stop replaying past conversations

Cut to the chase episode using mindfulness to work with negative stories that cause us to waste time and energy replaying past events. This is a common sticking point for people pleasers - over analyzing past conversations and worrying x10 that we upset someone or we were selfish and dominated the conversation.
Listen to this short episode to find out how to work with this runaway train of worry thoughts and ease up on yourself. Peace out Pleasers!
Links:
Like what you hear and want to take the next step?  Set up a time to talk!
https://tr.ee/vJHETPoI_p
 
Connect with Vicki:Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100075839538976
Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/power.to.the.pleasers/
Website -  https://powertothepleasers.com
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCNatSGDHY9lOmCoCVxQQE2Q
 
 
 

What to do when you're tired of being a people pleaser

It’s so easy to get caught in the decision making dilemma of – do I choose what is best for the other person or do I choose what is best for me?People pleasers live in an inner tug of war with their pleasing side wanting to keep the peace and their fledgling boundaries side wanting to protect their time and energy.
How do we get you off of this back and forth decision making conundrum?
Today I share how you can stop the fighting and start listening to these different parts of your personality.
Things to watch out for in this episode:
How to change your inner critical voice to a guiding consultant voice.
How to shift your feelings of shame and fear around anger to being more appreciative of its message.
The coupon code for the FREE mini-course on decision making for people pleasers! *Good for 48 hours from recording of show – March 13, 2024*https://powertothepleasers.thrivecart.com/no-more-back-and-forth/?coupon=REEL24
 
Links:
Like what you hear and want to take the next step?  Set up a time to talk!
https://tr.ee/vJHETPoI_p
 
Connect with Vicki:Join the email community: https://subscribepage.io/L8inBl
Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100075839538976
Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/power.to.the.pleasers/
Website -  https://powertothepleasers.com
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCNatSGDHY9lOmCoCVxQQE2Q

How Guilt messes with your ability to Set Boundaries

Guilt is a killer for people pleasers. We hate feeling it but we feel it all the time. Even when we haven’t done anything! And guess what? Most of the stuff we do isn’t bad enough TO feel guilty about!!!
The habit of Guilt is messing with your ability to set boundaries plain and simple. It's making you believe you are harming someone when you aren't - you are just setting limits. And everyone has the right to do that. 
Today I share how we can lean into guilt and learn from it. Yes, that sounds horrible and no it won’t be half as bad as your mind makes it out to be. Which is my whole point with guilt in the first place! Your mind and your avoidance of conflict are screwing with your perspective.
Can you tell I get fired up about this topic?
 
Also discussed in this episode:
Two new ways of looking at this dreaded emotion.
How empathy makes you feel guilty when you don’t have to.
Guidelines and mindful questions to help you surf the wave of guilt instead of it pulling you under. *Can be used for any difficult feeling*.
 
Connect with Vicki:Join the email community: https://subscribepage.io/L8inBl
Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100075839538976
Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/power.to.the.pleasers/
Website -  https://powertothepleasers.com
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCNatSGDHY9lOmCoCVxQQE2Q

Deprogramming from your Emotionally Immature Parent

It’s pretty easy to lose ourselves in a relationship with an emotionally immature parent. Their need for our emotional soothing trains us to pay close attention to their moods and behaviors instead of stay in tune with our own experiences.
Today we go back to basics and turn our attention towards our own internal experiences. It’s time to re-learn who we are from the foundational ground up!
 
Also discussed in this episode:
The connection between not knowing yourself and a lack of self confidence.
How self knowledge is vital for clear decision making.
Mindfulness practices for the body, mind and heart.
 
Links:
No More Back and Forth
The mini course on how to feel more confident in your decision making. I use Internal Family Systems to walk you through the two parts involved in decision making – the pleaser and the boundaries part. Finally break free from the ultimate people pleaser’s dilemma – “Do I choose what is best for YOU or what works for ME?”
https://powertothepleasers.thrivecart.com/no-more-back-and-forth/
 
Connect with Vicki:
Like what you hear and want to take the next step? Set up a time to talk! https://tr.ee/vJHETPoI_p
Join the email community: https://subscribepage.io/L8inBl
Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100075839538976
Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/power.to.the.pleasers/
Website -  https://powertothepleasers.com
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCNatSGDHY9lOmCoCVxQQE2Q